Sense of security

Cliche as it may seem or call it too religiously but truly, "The best relationship one could ever have is with Him 👆🏻" 

I don't know how it happened but I know is through fervently praying, your best effort to search for your contentment, and it is really by His grace you can do unimaginable things, our human sinfully nature will be forgotten because You will always search for the truth and by His words your mind and heart will be enlightened. The past will not define you. In His eyes, you are one of His wonderful creations. 

This is the moment I fully accepted my flaws, my imperfection. Because through all of these I was beautifully and wonderfully made. And my identity is not defined by someone or something. 

The fullness of joy in my heart, the contentment, and oh yes that smile on my eyes is because of my greatest lover, Jesus.😍 Lastly, I know the best is yet to come. I will patiently wait for it. ☺️

Dear Lord, Please continue holding my heart. Always align my heart with Yours. May I always see the goodness in any circumstances, the joy in every pain, and the purpose in every trial. Make me your warrior princess, and make my life a blessing to the people around me. Amen😇

deep within her

      Most of the people close to my heart would probably understand what I am going to share about this long overdue entry. 

      Far from what you see in my social media photos, the way I dress, the compliments I received from the people around me; you'll never a trace girl that once nurtured an inferiority complex in her persona. YES! You read it right! 

      During my teenage years, I never see myself as someone likeable/desirable. I was bullied back then. There were times I could only express my  feelings through my diary, there were sobbing sleepless nights. Passing it on until my college days; I can't remember having so many friends or a single moment mingling with the "Manilenos/conyos" classmates (as what they always call them). I was so shy then, I can't even go to crowded places like Ubelt particularly. I don't know why but I can only remember was the very typical probinsyana/jologs/ugly duckling Kristine. I was really never secure of who I am as a person. That was really a sad part of my life, I didn't get to enjoy much of my teenage years. And an additional rejection/heartaches to my early twenties.

     Looking back then, I now understand what I have gone through was just normal. My coping up was the abnormal. I think even the pretty girls and the handsome guys or even the most popular people have their fair share stories of rejection, loneliness and INSECURITY. It's part of growing up and being human. And eventhough it's painful at times, dealing with it will help us become more empathic, understanding and kinder to others. 

      I can't say I no longer feel this kind of emotions, but my coping up is now better. I think we are natural insecure people, we will never be satisfied. It's all about SELF ACCEPTANCE or what we call the SELF LOVE. I think it's not bad to love ourselves the most. Who else will do that for us, right?! 

An excerpt from a blog that I read:

"When you seem to struggle with certain feelings of insecurities, lift it up in prayer. Don't stop! I promise you, He answers prayers." 

And that's what I am exactly doing everytime I am attacked by the enemy.       

Plus thanks to the people around me who made me feel admirable, likeable, and lovable. And to our loving God who will always see us as His beautiful creation. All glory to Him! 

 

Transcending Blog

This is what my blog compasses..

Faith. Hope. Love

Love is why he came. It's all love. The buzzing flies around the cross, the stroke of the Roman hammer as the nails tear into his screamingly soft flesh, the infinitely harder stroke of his own people's hammering hatred, hammering at his heart—why? For love. God is love, as the sun is fire and light, and he can no more stop loving than the sun can stop shining. 

He may not yet wipe tears away, but he makes them his.

Henceforth, when we feel the hammers of life beating on our heads or on our hearts, we can know—we must know—that he is here with us, taking our blows. Every tear we shed becomes his tear. He may not yet wipe them away, but he makes them his. Would we rather have our own dry eyes, or his tear-filled ones? He came. He is here. That is the salient fact. If he does not heal all our broken bones and loves and lives now, he comes into them and is broken, like bread, and we are nourished. And he shows us that we can henceforth use our very brokenness as nourishment for those we love. Since we are his body, we too are the bread that is broken for others. Our very failures help heal other lives; our very tears help wipe away tears; our being hated helps those we love. When those we love hang up on us, he keeps the lines open. His withness with us enables us to be with those who refuse to be with us.

What then is suffering to the Christian? It is Christ's invitation to us to follow him. Christ goes to the cross, and we are invited to follow to the same cross. Not because it is the cross, but because it is his. Suffering is blessed not because it is suffering but because it is his. Suffering is not the context that explains the cross; the cross is the context that explains suffering. The cross gives this new meaning to suffering; it is now not only between God and me but also between Father and Son. The first between is taken up into the Trinitarian exchanges of the second. Christ allows us to participate in his cross because that is his means of allowing us to participate in the exchanges of the Trinity, to share in the very inner life of God.

Love is war.

Love is something that you need to keep fighting for.

God is love that is why He always keep fighting for us to be with Him. 🙏

“We love because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19 NIV

3.0version

And again, I got an itchy feeling to write...

The realization, the experiences I gained. 

Few months ago, I became hopeful of something exciting. I thought this would be the fulfillment of a dream, but then God said, "My daughter, it is still not the right time."  I made some arrangements, the efforts I had just to reach out. I must admit, it was frustrating and disappointing. 

But things turned out to be God's plan for me to go home and spend few days with the people that really matters most. My role as a Nurse now became a vital role in the family, to take care of Mom for a few days. I came home with a heavy heart, worries, fears starting to fill my mind. I just prayed... 

Truly,  family is your everything. Time spent with them is worth every second. And I am just thankful I am 3.5 hrs away from home. That I could easily book a ticket and be with them. The 5 days I spent, it was very meaningful. GOD is faithful, sovereign, mighty. HE answered prayers for your best interest, for the growth of your faith and maturity.  

I get to bond with them, the moment you feel you are the only single person in the family, that most of your siblings already have their own, just got married, and almost getting there. That you are becoming the responsible TITA to your nephew, taking care of him the whole day and even sleeping beside him just like his own mother, taking care of your sick parents, deciding minor things for the family. I sometimes miss the bonding with my siblings before, but the situation is already different and I totally understand it. I am truly happy with their status right now and also with what I have. I know God is giving me a special role, a task that I am accepting wholeheartedly that I know I will not regret, a daughter who takes care of her aging parents, a sweet sister to her siblings, a spoiler Tita. 

I know most of you will be worried and most of my relatives are already asking the question. 

"When are you going to settle down?!" 

That question I could not answer anymore, it turned out I am no longer interested in meeting new people, in dating. It's not that I became cynical about relationships, about love. I just surrendered everything, I leave everything up to HIM, of what His plans for me. I just became excited of what's in store for me in the future. 

I just enjoy what I do right now. A true happiness just being yourself. Keeping your promises to Him and yourself, always reminded of your worth. I know God is with me, why should I worry?! 

Sharing the captured moments. I will see you soon my loves! :) 

3-0!

It feels weird, scary, yet exciting/exhilarating! I had preparations before I came to this point in my life where I could say I am matured enough to handle things in life. Then came the 4th of February. Waking up at 3am in the morning at home in my room, it giggles me that again I will celebrate my special day with family. I went downstairs to lie beside my parents bed, the inner "bunso" in me, I cuddle and kiss to wake them up. And then the younger brother also joined us in, showering me with greetings and kisses on my cheek. I uttered in my mind, Lord Thank You for this day. I couldnt find a better way to start my day but spending time at Church to give thanks. After the mass with my cousin, I went home feeling so light and bright. Kissing and playing with kambal and Liam. The feeling was unexplainable. I felt I was on a cloud nine, I felt so "kilig" people are starting to greet me in facebook, private messages, text messages, and instagram. Then afternoon came, the big event I was waiting for.. The most pure joy that I felt. :) 

The experience was overwhelming, humbling, and one of a kind. It brought me happy tears. I couldn't help it but cry. The endless thank you, the smile on their faces. Priceless! :) I felt so blessed! 

At home, I just said to my family "Thank You" with tears of joy.. :) 

The never ending surprises didn't stop there. My love month brought a lot of happenings, new and exciting people came, memories to treasure, quality time with closest friends, celebration of love/God's faithfulness, family bonding... that made my heart so joyful and hopeful ❤️ I know it's another adventure, more experiences, learnings, fun, and stories. Bring it on! I know God will always guide me🙏 

Dear Tineton, congratulations! :) ---Love Kristine❤️

I finally finished reading the book of Cathy Gonzaga and it's very inspiring. I wanna change the name in that page, cause that's exactly how/where I am right now. (hindi pa nga lang 10months, im on my 8months now.) And I never felt this joy and peace in my heart. Yes I am in my Loveless status right now. Don't get me wrong of this. My singleness is by choice not by chance. If you would dare ask me the question Why?! My answer would be like this. 

"Cause this is the time of my life I am happy. Because I came to realize I already have everything that I need right now. I don't need someone/something just to make me happy." 

There's so much to be thankful for. I am single by choice because I am already listening to God's voice, God is working in me. I know He is preparing me for someone/something the best He prepared for me. Believe me, the best relationship one could ever have is with God. He could be your boyfriend, bestfriend, and your Father. He knows what is the best for you. Call it religious or whatever but being a Christian is not about branding ourselves but it is the way of life. And I already established the relationship with Him and I am overly joyed and contented. I am single for now because I have more space, time and chances to know more about myself, to seek who God wants me to be and to be with. And that's why I am just patient. 

And in the process of waiting, enjoy and live each moment with joy in our hearts. God is never too late, never early. He is always on time. 🙏❤️

So Tineton I am proud of how you become, how you use your past hurts to where you are right now. I know God will say to you, Good job my princess 👑👸! 

Not A Bad Thing

I never imagined this simple song would make a big impact on me. There was instance in my life where I questioned God,  and I even questioned myself "Am I not worthy?". There are those guys who made me feel so insecure about myself as a woman, as a person. I uttered the words "Am I not that good enough for them to commit themselves to have a relationship with me?" But those things, the experiences I had, the hurts... God use it for me to realize that I am worthy, He use it for His Greater Glory, and He is more than enough for me. My heart is full of joy that finally I am where I am right now because God brought me here, and the state of my heart as a single woman; I am truly satisfied. 


The questions I had before, He answered it through this song. I even tell God,  "If someone will sing this song for me I know he will be the right guy for me. " But then He whispered "This song is the song I have for you, why are u still looking for someone to sing it for you?! God is really amazing! I just smiled and told myself "Yes Jesus Christ You are the Perfect One for me" and my heart filled with satisfaction..

 Here is the lyrics for you all to understand what I am saying... 
                                                       
                                                           "Not A Bad Thing"

[Verse 1:]
Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow
And every tomorrow, maybe you'll let me borrow your heart
And is it too much to ask for every Sunday
And while we're at it, throw in every other day to start

[Pre-Chorus:]
I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
But I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it

[Chorus:]
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me

[Verse 2:]
Now how about I'd be the last voice you hear tonight?
And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are
Every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me
'Cause I know that's a good place to start

[Pre-Chorus:]
I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
Don't you know that I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it

[Chorus:]
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me
(Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me)

[Bridge:]
No I won't fill your mind
With broken promises and wasted time
And if you fall, you'll always land right in these arms
These arms of mine

[Chorus:]
Don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me

Waiting expectantly

I know a lot of people always ask me the same question. "What's the status of your heart?" 

Okay, read this and you will find out the answer... 

     This is the best time of my life I could tell I am patient, I am truly happy with what I am and what I have; the time I am enjoying because I only live for myself, family, friends, and with God. No phone calls from anyone, no chats, no random dates, totally not into anyone or anything. Do I miss a relationship? Yup! Do I desire companionship? Yup.

But I already KNOW what I NEED, WANT and DESERVE in a relationship and I won’t settle anymore. I learned discipline, obedience, and trust. And as I learned discipline, guess what happened? I found my purpose. I honed my talents. I made new friends with similar interests. I spent a lot of time with family, friends and myself. And I got closer to God than I ever imagined possible. I hear him more clearly. The faith and obedience I am always praying for, He then answered it. 

How could I find the right man if I, myself is not the right girl? How could I settle for a lifetime commitment If I am not ready? If this is what God wanted me to be, let His will be done. If this is what He calls preparation for something "best" that He will give, so be it. I am just waiting..... expectantly! 🙏

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. (Psalms 62:5 NLT)

The almost dating status..

I am speaking up for the all girls out there who have been kept hanging, the almost in a relatioship status, all the "almost" kind of thing in a relationship. 

And the recent stories that most of my closest friends have gone through. I am standing up for all of you. <Yes, I am that affected> 

We girls have all the tendency to hope or long for someone especially when in you're late 20's and still single. 

"To almost date someone is to go back on a promise no one had to keep, because it was a promise no one made. You live in limbo for a little while, nothing more, but it’s okay because you grow drunk on possibility and giddy with potential. The almost relationship is everything that could happen, everything that could be."

You met this guy, established a rapport, that conversation or the things you do together that makes you happy. You feel that you have the connection with this guy but you cannot tell your friends that you're in a relationship, you will just smile at them and tell them "maybe" or too shy to tell them that this guy didn't tell you anything yet about your status. Your friends will just smile back, anticipate, and also hoping that finally after waiting for many years, you will tell them again that "yes, im in a relationship" or maybe waiting for your facebook status might be changed from single to "in a relationship"

Yes the guy did like you, but not to the extent that the guy will pursue you for something long term, in short, they don't like the "commitment" or they are not just  that into you. It hurts, but that's the reality nowadays. 

"Heartbreak from almost dating someone is no less real just because you didn’t have a title, because you didn’t meet the parents, because you never said “I love you” out loud. Because you sensed it. Because you felt that it could be there, really and truly. Because we were, but we weren’t, but we could have been."

Girls, I understand that it will give you some insecurities about yourself, or worst it will give you some fear to entertain guys again. But hey, be thankful that you didn't fall for a wrong guy. It takes a matter of time for you to forget about it, but it will pass.... soon enough :) 

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status.

So enjoy life, be happy and let love find you :) 

God will give us the right guy in His most perfect time, have faith! :) 

Unfading beauty

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (NLT) ( 1 Peter 3:4 ) 

            We spend a lot of time focusing on our outward appearance such as perfecting our hairstyle, improving our physique, selecting the right clothes. In all, a lot of thought goes into creating just the right look. Do we spend the same amount of time cultivating our inner beauty? We know what inner beauty looks like...patience, generosity, peace-loving, fearless, and filled with a silent strength. Are we spending more time worrying about the color of our teeth instead of the kind of words that come out of our mouth? Ultimately our words are a reflection of our heart.

           The moment I read this,  I felt guilty about it. Most of us, humans insecure nature will never be satisfied with how we look, the clothes we wear, our features. I must admit, I am one insecure girl even though a lot of people will always give me compliments; and it's a struggle for me. What others may think I am always just conscious about the way I look but I am more conscious of what's inside my heart, my innermost being, my essence of being a graceful woman. Everyday is like an exam for me to be a better person; the way I live, the way I deliver words through my mouth, the way I treat the people around me, the way to maximize my spiritual growth as a Christian. Should we always be reminded that it is more pleasing to have a beautiful soul rather than a beautiful face. A beautiful person with all the grace coming from our Lord, our God.

"Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away but a woman who honours the Lord deserves to be praised" Proverbs 31:30

This scripture always reminds me that we have our own unique way of being beautiful.

"The sun has its own beauty, the moon another beauty, and the stars a different beauty, and even among stars there are different kinds of beauty." 1 Corinthians 15:41

A part of my everyday prayer goes like this:

Lord, let me see the inner beauty of everyone. Help me to open my heart than my eyes, to help me see the goodness and purity of their heart. Amen. 

Happy and Blessed at 29!

     As I end this day, I wanna thank You Father God for my life, for the past 29 years of blissful beautiful crazy journey. Thank You for filling up this day with so much love, for channeling it through the people around me, my family, friends, colleagues and all the people that I encounter. Your love never fails. I couldn't ask for more. My heart filled with so much gratitude, I almost can't contain it. The pictures tell everything. Thank You for all the people who took time to type their message for my birthday and greeted me, for my colleagues who were with me for my birthday salubong, my friends/housemates/sisters who made an effort to surprise me for a breakfast birthday party, my close friends for the jollibee party, and most especially my family who are always been there for me, though we're miles apart, I can always feel your love for me. Thanks mommy and daddy for celebrating it at home even when I am not there with you. Lord, I only have one wish and You know my heart's desire. I will patiently wait for the one I truly deserve, because Your plans are always the best for us. Indeed a happy and blessed day for me :) 

trial and error..

      As I keep on moving forward, life has its way of bringing me down. Instances, people, emotions. Mixing it up together, I ended up failing the test. I thought I became numb to feel anything, to expect, to feel the disappointment. But I was wrong. 

     As I became stronger, enemies begun to strike me to my weakest points. I'm almost finishing the race but I stumble and fall, I've tried to get up but the wound excruciates deep down to my soul. Again, I am trying hard to heal the wound. 

    The most important thing is I know when, how and who to turn to. Lessons will always learned the hard way. 

"Come now, let's settle this," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." (NLT) ( Isaiah 1:18 ) 

Everyone is walking around stained with sins. God has the power to settle it once and for all. No matter how hard we try to fix, ignore, or run away, He alone can wash away the red stains. What sins are you still holding onto? Ask God to cleanse you of your sins today.  Then enjoy His grace.

WHO AM I?

          How many times I tried to question my personality, my characteristics as a person. Last Sunday, all of my doubts have answered through our simple activity in our SFC household.  For those who want to know more about me, here is the result of my psychological test.

Sanguine personality is affected by chemical called dopamine, which makes these people intensely curious and creative. Their curiosity can be expressed in their love for reading and different kinds of knowledge and they usually possess high amounts of energy, so they may seem restless and spontaneous.

And YES most of these characteristics simply says, "Yeah it's me!" 

But far more than all of those questions in me, I realized, all of us are uniquely created by our Creator. I/we should not question all those characteristics, we should use all our gifts/talents to inspire other people, to bless those who need them. We are all different from each other, we should not compare nor entertain the insecurities we feel. But as humans, we will never be satisfied. I've been hurt many times because of these characteristics, but I'm still never giving up. I tried to change myself because I thought that would be better, that would ease the pain that I feel. And as my devotion today goes like this. 

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. (NLT) ( Psalm 118:1 ) 

We all have gone through lost or broken relationships. Those experiences may sometimes make us feel that there's no hope for a long-lasting enduring love in this world. As hard as it may seem to imagine especially when we're so focused on our earthly relationships, just remember that God does love you unconditionally. Don't give up on hope in love and have faith in God. 

"Living life with an attitude of gratitude"

            I know I don't have the right to complain whatever the bad things going in my life right now, I know I am so blessed to have everything of what I have right now, I am too stubborn to ask for more, and I really felt guilty for that. When we are burdened or mistreated, we may feel defeated. And that's what I am feeling right now. I feel helpless, I feel so tired, I feel I am nothing. But our burdens can make us stronger and can develop qualities in us that will prepare us for the future. That's true. "We cannot be over comers without troubles to overcome. " And the only thing I am holding on to right now is this. "Be true to God in the hard times because even the worst situations can make us better people. Time has always a way of healing, of smoothing over the bumpy parts of our lives."  We just always need to hold on.

       Even though things get rough sometimes, I'm still thankful for these instances because at the end of it I will still realize how blessed I am to have everything that I need in my life. To be grateful rather than to whine/complain, to smile rather than frown, to be happy rather than sad.        

    Gradually we see things in different perspectives. Everything you've done, everyone you've loved, every mistake you've made, every obstacle you've overcome is part of the woman you are today.     

          

   And with a great sense of humility allows us to see our weakness and embrace Gods strength; it allows us to see our insufficiency and embrace His adequacy; it allows to see our emptiness and embrace His fullness; it allows to see our poverty and embrace His riches; it allows to see our sin and embrace His righteousness; it allows to see our lack and embrace His supply. Humility is the place of freedom where our spirit soars where love is perfected and where God's richest blessings abound. 

  

         ''And with all of these, ALL GLORY TO OUR GOD" 

Amazing Thailand

               "Reach deep within and reconnect with the essence of your being" 

                                                                              

I've always wanted to travel alone, but it always scares me how will I do it, not until this time I had enough courage to conquer my fears. Phuket, Thailand is one in my bucket list. I decided to go here because beach is one of the places I called "my sanctuary," I don't know why but it gives me this sense of happiness inside. It was indeed a very memorable trip for me. I was able to get what I always wanted. The feeling of independence and a feeling of satisfaction. This picture tells a thousand words, isn't it? 

                                                  The Sun, Sand and Sea. 

Soul searching as what most people call it but I think it's more of just finding the meaning of being alone but happy. I just needed that time alone, to align everything on my thinking, my decisions, and my goals in life. The essence of being happy even when I am alone. That trip gave me the appreciation of what I have in my life now. The blessings of having a good job, my family and my friends. 

                                                "Explore. Dream. Discover."       

             It is about taking steps to move away from my home comforts to discover what is waiting for me in the big, wide world. And, if I don’t take those steps, I'll forever regret it. And I am right, there are a lot of wonderful things to see in this world.

Now that I finally did it, my next plan--- Hongkong-Macau. Why not?! :)

Being a Better You

       

    People have different ways of coping up, of dealing with problems, difficulties in life, emotional disturbances and most especially in dealing with heartbreaks. Most of the single person's darkest fall is after a break up. Pain from a loss of special someone, of rejection; is inevitable. We always thought we cannot surpass these things, at that very moment we feel we are helpless, we are weak; that we don't want to go on with our lives anymore. We risked our hearts, we shared our lives, we already had plans for the future together with the special someone, "the wedding, having your own house, building your dreams together". Then all of a sudden, you never thought that person you love so much will give you the worst pain you will ever feel. Now, you're questioning yourself "What did I do wrong?" "Am I really not good enough for he/she to hold  on to?!"                                              

           Now, I know, most of you who are undergoing a major repair of the damage inside you are questioning about your self worth, questioning God why did it happen... I can tell all these things because I also experienced that stage of loss/pain not once but twice..  

                    

    Most of those people will turn to some other vices like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, partying everywhere because they think these things will make them happy, will make them numb, to ease the pain they are feeling, to forget everything what has happened in the past. Yes, it will give you a "temporary relief", a "temporary happiness" but at the end of the day you will still feel the emptiness in you, the loneliness and worst, it will make you feel more miserable.  

                                 

     I am writing this blog because I want to inspire people who are experiencing the same pain I went through; for them to realize that there's more to life than grieving/weeping/stressing yourselves about the past. Yes I don't feel what you are feeling right now, you may even tell me "You just don't know".. Believe me, there's more to life, more things to be thankful for. I underwent that stage, I also had vices like drinking and partying but those things just made realized I wasted most of the precious time, that I should have spend it more to the people who truly loves me, that I should spend it more to myself. 

Here are some tips that helped me get through it, I hope it will help you too:

1. BE BETTER, NOT BITTER

     You can always hear this famous line, but this is really true. You can spend more time discovering things you never did before, trying out a new sports, a hobby that will keep you busy. Pamper yourself. Most importantly, love yourself above anyone or anything else. 

2. DON'T TRY AGAIN TOO QUICKLY

      This is one of the most popular and common mistakes. Moving on to another relationship is wrong. Not until you are ready to love, don't try to date someone. More or less, you will end up just hurting innocent people, or you will hurt yourself too. 

3. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

      Your family and friends who has been there for you through good and bad times, and they are the people who are already part of your life even before you had the relationship. Why not spending more time with the ones who truly care and love you. You will be happier and the feeling of satisfaction starts to sink in. 

4. TURN TO GOD AND PRAY!

      This is the best thing you can do, PRAY! Turn to Him, in times you feel weak, hurt and troubled. 

       The relationship may be over because of a certain failure or behavior that may disqualify you for a marriage with that person. But it doesn't mean God nullify you from His grace and love. When in fact it happened because that person is not the one God designed for you. They were part of your story because they have to be there to polish your character, to strengthen you. You may feel you are damaged, lost, ruined, but in God's eyes you are not. He wants you to turn to Him, seek and talk to Him. It is hard to believe but that broken you is a better you; stronger and braver. Every inch of the failure, heartaches are making you of what God has wanted you to be and to give you more of what He has created you to enjoy----Himself. 

      God does know our needs, He might reveal things you thought you needed or simply He is revealing that He is all that you need, not anyone or anything else. He always knows what's best for us and that person is not designed to be part of your marriage. For whatever reason, it is not the will of our Father to be with that person. Soon, you will understand why, the reasons behind every pain. Don't rush. The key point is to surrender everything in His Mighty Hands. 

5. LEARNED FROM THE PAST, FORGIVE/FORGET AND MOVE ON

      The hardest part yet the most fulfilling to do. Once you got over it, you will feel a way lot better. You will even thank God for that trial, for giving you those lessons, because if not for that you will not get to enjoy the things you never did before, you will not spend more time with the people you have almost taken for granted, the simple things you forgot to be thankful for. And in the next relationship you will have, you will be more cautious of your actions, you are seeking more of a relationship that is centered by God's love and grace, you will have that grateful heart, a humility that will seek more of your partner's welfare than your own, you will patiently waiting for that person God especially designed for you. 

--I hope I made you think, because with that thinking I know somehow I am touching your heart, making you puzzled how I made it through. It is really hard, but with God's grace and guidance, He did everything for me, He healed my brokenness, He made me feel I am worthy in His eyes, He showered me with abundance love that I don't anymore feel the emptiness. I hope I inspired you with this, that's all I want. 

        

       

Happy Birthday Sis :)

                             

,     You always make "tampo" when I always make blogs with some of my friends, but now is the perfect time I make one for you. 

      For the generous, kind hearted person I know, for the very gullible, bubbly and witty girl, the very OC, my elder sister, my nanay, my confidant, best room mate, my chocolates and chips eating partner, spoiler friend, and my 1st bestfriend here in Singapore. Thank You for all those wonderful times I had with you, for guiding and taking care of me, for being my ate. I never said this things with you before but I am too blessed to have you. Thank You for molding me into a more matured woman, for being there for me as always, for keeping my secrets, for sharing all the kilig moments, and those late night chikahan. I really miss that. :) 

     

                       

   

                                          pics from Jade's wedding last summer :) 

                        

                                                                    

                                        and our cam-whoring moments at the airport

                                                                                                                                                                   

   

 All the pictures say it all, one album is not enough to share all the good memories with you. Sorry for all those times I hurt you. I know whenever I need a sister, you will always be there for me. We may never see each other as often as before, I know our friendship will just be there. And you can count on me too. I love you more than you know. Again Happy Happy Birthday. I really miss you. :)

 "Having a sister is like having a bestfriend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they will still be there" 

Christian Character Weekend

                Being Christian is a difficult task, we have to be attuned to Christ's image and likeness; His character. We are called to be faithful servants, to fully submit ourselves to the Lord. Different experiences, emotions define our character, but it is always by God's grace we can do everything, we can fully submit ourselves to Him. 

       This is a right timing that we are having this kind of retreat, the past few days were struggle for me. To keep my values, not to stoop down to the level of being unjust, not to be harsh on my actions and in my words. I prayed hard for self control, for calmness, to always remember being a good Christian. Anger is a natural, it is a response to the obstacles we are dealing but it is dangerous if we don't handle it with care, if we let ourselves controlled by our emotions. Emotions are reactions but it doesn't necessarily have to rule our decisions in dealing different people. We can handle them in a calmly manner by praying for strength, for wisdom to decide that we act in a Godly way, the right way. We always have a choice and i chose to keep my values. Forgiveness is the key. Other are blinded from God's love, cause they also have brokeness so they also need healing and prayers. It doesn't mean I am washing hands from sin because I also have sinned through my thoughts. But with God's grace I chose to do the right thing, to forgive, ask for healing and pray for people who mistreated me. 

"When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you. Those who are stealing must stop stealing and start working. They should earn an honest living for themselves. Then they will have something to share with those who are poor. When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God’s proof that you belong to him. God gave you the Spirit to show that God will make you free when the final day comes. Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ."(Ephesians 4:26-32 NCV)

        When I was hearing the holy mass earlier, as if God is talking to me through Father's Homily, I felt then the urge to have the confession, like the Holy Spirit guided me to talk to Father and ask a few minutes of his time. I fully confessed all my sins, I need to have this confession to let go of my past, to let go of those feeling of unworthiness. Father said "You are beautiful in the eyes of God, don't see your beauty as a curse but a blessing. Don't let other people mistreat you, use you. People will fail us but onLy God is perfect so we can just only rely to Him. He will never fail us. Make a conscious effort to do the right thing, because God already forgave you so you must also forgive yourself." 

        "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)"

      

        By God's grace we are able to do this, to fully submit myself to Him, to fully entrust my life, to surrender my totality as a human being. The very act of surrendering is to see God's love working in our lives; in our past, present and in our future.  

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)"

As I pray before I sleep. "Thank You Lord God for this wonderful time with You,  for the courage You gave me to be able to confess everything to You. Humbled by Your words, I was also able to forgive and forget. God I still need healing, continue to work in my life. I surrendered everything to you. Thy Your will be done, in Jesus name. Amen."