deep within her

      Most of the people close to my heart would probably understand what I am going to share about this long overdue entry. 

      Far from what you see in my social media photos, the way I dress, the compliments I received from the people around me; you'll never a trace girl that once nurtured an inferiority complex in her persona. YES! You read it right! 

      During my teenage years, I never see myself as someone likeable/desirable. I was bullied back then. There were times I could only express my  feelings through my diary, there were sobbing sleepless nights. Passing it on until my college days; I can't remember having so many friends or a single moment mingling with the "Manilenos/conyos" classmates (as what they always call them). I was so shy then, I can't even go to crowded places like Ubelt particularly. I don't know why but I can only remember was the very typical probinsyana/jologs/ugly duckling Kristine. I was really never secure of who I am as a person. That was really a sad part of my life, I didn't get to enjoy much of my teenage years. And an additional rejection/heartaches to my early twenties.

     Looking back then, I now understand what I have gone through was just normal. My coping up was the abnormal. I think even the pretty girls and the handsome guys or even the most popular people have their fair share stories of rejection, loneliness and INSECURITY. It's part of growing up and being human. And eventhough it's painful at times, dealing with it will help us become more empathic, understanding and kinder to others. 

      I can't say I no longer feel this kind of emotions, but my coping up is now better. I think we are natural insecure people, we will never be satisfied. It's all about SELF ACCEPTANCE or what we call the SELF LOVE. I think it's not bad to love ourselves the most. Who else will do that for us, right?! 

An excerpt from a blog that I read:

"When you seem to struggle with certain feelings of insecurities, lift it up in prayer. Don't stop! I promise you, He answers prayers." 

And that's what I am exactly doing everytime I am attacked by the enemy.       

Plus thanks to the people around me who made me feel admirable, likeable, and lovable. And to our loving God who will always see us as His beautiful creation. All glory to Him!