Not A Bad Thing

I never imagined this simple song would make a big impact on me. There was instance in my life where I questioned God,  and I even questioned myself "Am I not worthy?". There are those guys who made me feel so insecure about myself as a woman, as a person. I uttered the words "Am I not that good enough for them to commit themselves to have a relationship with me?" But those things, the experiences I had, the hurts... God use it for me to realize that I am worthy, He use it for His Greater Glory, and He is more than enough for me. My heart is full of joy that finally I am where I am right now because God brought me here, and the state of my heart as a single woman; I am truly satisfied. 


The questions I had before, He answered it through this song. I even tell God,  "If someone will sing this song for me I know he will be the right guy for me. " But then He whispered "This song is the song I have for you, why are u still looking for someone to sing it for you?! God is really amazing! I just smiled and told myself "Yes Jesus Christ You are the Perfect One for me" and my heart filled with satisfaction..

 Here is the lyrics for you all to understand what I am saying... 
                                                       
                                                           "Not A Bad Thing"

[Verse 1:]
Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow
And every tomorrow, maybe you'll let me borrow your heart
And is it too much to ask for every Sunday
And while we're at it, throw in every other day to start

[Pre-Chorus:]
I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
But I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it

[Chorus:]
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me

[Verse 2:]
Now how about I'd be the last voice you hear tonight?
And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are
Every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me
'Cause I know that's a good place to start

[Pre-Chorus:]
I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
Don't you know that I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it

[Chorus:]
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me
(Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me)

[Bridge:]
No I won't fill your mind
With broken promises and wasted time
And if you fall, you'll always land right in these arms
These arms of mine

[Chorus:]
Don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me

Waiting expectantly

I know a lot of people always ask me the same question. "What's the status of your heart?" 

Okay, read this and you will find out the answer... 

     This is the best time of my life I could tell I am patient, I am truly happy with what I am and what I have; the time I am enjoying because I only live for myself, family, friends, and with God. No phone calls from anyone, no chats, no random dates, totally not into anyone or anything. Do I miss a relationship? Yup! Do I desire companionship? Yup.

But I already KNOW what I NEED, WANT and DESERVE in a relationship and I won’t settle anymore. I learned discipline, obedience, and trust. And as I learned discipline, guess what happened? I found my purpose. I honed my talents. I made new friends with similar interests. I spent a lot of time with family, friends and myself. And I got closer to God than I ever imagined possible. I hear him more clearly. The faith and obedience I am always praying for, He then answered it. 

How could I find the right man if I, myself is not the right girl? How could I settle for a lifetime commitment If I am not ready? If this is what God wanted me to be, let His will be done. If this is what He calls preparation for something "best" that He will give, so be it. I am just waiting..... expectantly! 🙏

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. (Psalms 62:5 NLT)

The almost dating status..

I am speaking up for the all girls out there who have been kept hanging, the almost in a relatioship status, all the "almost" kind of thing in a relationship. 

And the recent stories that most of my closest friends have gone through. I am standing up for all of you. <Yes, I am that affected> 

We girls have all the tendency to hope or long for someone especially when in you're late 20's and still single. 

"To almost date someone is to go back on a promise no one had to keep, because it was a promise no one made. You live in limbo for a little while, nothing more, but it’s okay because you grow drunk on possibility and giddy with potential. The almost relationship is everything that could happen, everything that could be."

You met this guy, established a rapport, that conversation or the things you do together that makes you happy. You feel that you have the connection with this guy but you cannot tell your friends that you're in a relationship, you will just smile at them and tell them "maybe" or too shy to tell them that this guy didn't tell you anything yet about your status. Your friends will just smile back, anticipate, and also hoping that finally after waiting for many years, you will tell them again that "yes, im in a relationship" or maybe waiting for your facebook status might be changed from single to "in a relationship"

Yes the guy did like you, but not to the extent that the guy will pursue you for something long term, in short, they don't like the "commitment" or they are not just  that into you. It hurts, but that's the reality nowadays. 

"Heartbreak from almost dating someone is no less real just because you didn’t have a title, because you didn’t meet the parents, because you never said “I love you” out loud. Because you sensed it. Because you felt that it could be there, really and truly. Because we were, but we weren’t, but we could have been."

Girls, I understand that it will give you some insecurities about yourself, or worst it will give you some fear to entertain guys again. But hey, be thankful that you didn't fall for a wrong guy. It takes a matter of time for you to forget about it, but it will pass.... soon enough :) 

Find someone who will change your life, not just your relationship status.

So enjoy life, be happy and let love find you :) 

God will give us the right guy in His most perfect time, have faith! :) 

Unfading beauty

You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. (NLT) ( 1 Peter 3:4 ) 

            We spend a lot of time focusing on our outward appearance such as perfecting our hairstyle, improving our physique, selecting the right clothes. In all, a lot of thought goes into creating just the right look. Do we spend the same amount of time cultivating our inner beauty? We know what inner beauty looks like...patience, generosity, peace-loving, fearless, and filled with a silent strength. Are we spending more time worrying about the color of our teeth instead of the kind of words that come out of our mouth? Ultimately our words are a reflection of our heart.

           The moment I read this,  I felt guilty about it. Most of us, humans insecure nature will never be satisfied with how we look, the clothes we wear, our features. I must admit, I am one insecure girl even though a lot of people will always give me compliments; and it's a struggle for me. What others may think I am always just conscious about the way I look but I am more conscious of what's inside my heart, my innermost being, my essence of being a graceful woman. Everyday is like an exam for me to be a better person; the way I live, the way I deliver words through my mouth, the way I treat the people around me, the way to maximize my spiritual growth as a Christian. Should we always be reminded that it is more pleasing to have a beautiful soul rather than a beautiful face. A beautiful person with all the grace coming from our Lord, our God.

"Charm can be deceiving, and beauty fades away but a woman who honours the Lord deserves to be praised" Proverbs 31:30

This scripture always reminds me that we have our own unique way of being beautiful.

"The sun has its own beauty, the moon another beauty, and the stars a different beauty, and even among stars there are different kinds of beauty." 1 Corinthians 15:41

A part of my everyday prayer goes like this:

Lord, let me see the inner beauty of everyone. Help me to open my heart than my eyes, to help me see the goodness and purity of their heart. Amen. 

Happy and Blessed at 29!

     As I end this day, I wanna thank You Father God for my life, for the past 29 years of blissful beautiful crazy journey. Thank You for filling up this day with so much love, for channeling it through the people around me, my family, friends, colleagues and all the people that I encounter. Your love never fails. I couldn't ask for more. My heart filled with so much gratitude, I almost can't contain it. The pictures tell everything. Thank You for all the people who took time to type their message for my birthday and greeted me, for my colleagues who were with me for my birthday salubong, my friends/housemates/sisters who made an effort to surprise me for a breakfast birthday party, my close friends for the jollibee party, and most especially my family who are always been there for me, though we're miles apart, I can always feel your love for me. Thanks mommy and daddy for celebrating it at home even when I am not there with you. Lord, I only have one wish and You know my heart's desire. I will patiently wait for the one I truly deserve, because Your plans are always the best for us. Indeed a happy and blessed day for me :) 

trial and error..

      As I keep on moving forward, life has its way of bringing me down. Instances, people, emotions. Mixing it up together, I ended up failing the test. I thought I became numb to feel anything, to expect, to feel the disappointment. But I was wrong. 

     As I became stronger, enemies begun to strike me to my weakest points. I'm almost finishing the race but I stumble and fall, I've tried to get up but the wound excruciates deep down to my soul. Again, I am trying hard to heal the wound. 

    The most important thing is I know when, how and who to turn to. Lessons will always learned the hard way. 

"Come now, let's settle this," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." (NLT) ( Isaiah 1:18 ) 

Everyone is walking around stained with sins. God has the power to settle it once and for all. No matter how hard we try to fix, ignore, or run away, He alone can wash away the red stains. What sins are you still holding onto? Ask God to cleanse you of your sins today.  Then enjoy His grace.

WHO AM I?

          How many times I tried to question my personality, my characteristics as a person. Last Sunday, all of my doubts have answered through our simple activity in our SFC household.  For those who want to know more about me, here is the result of my psychological test.

Sanguine personality is affected by chemical called dopamine, which makes these people intensely curious and creative. Their curiosity can be expressed in their love for reading and different kinds of knowledge and they usually possess high amounts of energy, so they may seem restless and spontaneous.

And YES most of these characteristics simply says, "Yeah it's me!" 

But far more than all of those questions in me, I realized, all of us are uniquely created by our Creator. I/we should not question all those characteristics, we should use all our gifts/talents to inspire other people, to bless those who need them. We are all different from each other, we should not compare nor entertain the insecurities we feel. But as humans, we will never be satisfied. I've been hurt many times because of these characteristics, but I'm still never giving up. I tried to change myself because I thought that would be better, that would ease the pain that I feel. And as my devotion today goes like this. 

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. (NLT) ( Psalm 118:1 ) 

We all have gone through lost or broken relationships. Those experiences may sometimes make us feel that there's no hope for a long-lasting enduring love in this world. As hard as it may seem to imagine especially when we're so focused on our earthly relationships, just remember that God does love you unconditionally. Don't give up on hope in love and have faith in God.