Happy Birthday Sis :)

                             

,     You always make "tampo" when I always make blogs with some of my friends, but now is the perfect time I make one for you. 

      For the generous, kind hearted person I know, for the very gullible, bubbly and witty girl, the very OC, my elder sister, my nanay, my confidant, best room mate, my chocolates and chips eating partner, spoiler friend, and my 1st bestfriend here in Singapore. Thank You for all those wonderful times I had with you, for guiding and taking care of me, for being my ate. I never said this things with you before but I am too blessed to have you. Thank You for molding me into a more matured woman, for being there for me as always, for keeping my secrets, for sharing all the kilig moments, and those late night chikahan. I really miss that. :) 

     

                       

   

                                          pics from Jade's wedding last summer :) 

                        

                                                                    

                                        and our cam-whoring moments at the airport

                                                                                                                                                                   

   

 All the pictures say it all, one album is not enough to share all the good memories with you. Sorry for all those times I hurt you. I know whenever I need a sister, you will always be there for me. We may never see each other as often as before, I know our friendship will just be there. And you can count on me too. I love you more than you know. Again Happy Happy Birthday. I really miss you. :)

 "Having a sister is like having a bestfriend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they will still be there" 

Christian Character Weekend

                Being Christian is a difficult task, we have to be attuned to Christ's image and likeness; His character. We are called to be faithful servants, to fully submit ourselves to the Lord. Different experiences, emotions define our character, but it is always by God's grace we can do everything, we can fully submit ourselves to Him. 

       This is a right timing that we are having this kind of retreat, the past few days were struggle for me. To keep my values, not to stoop down to the level of being unjust, not to be harsh on my actions and in my words. I prayed hard for self control, for calmness, to always remember being a good Christian. Anger is a natural, it is a response to the obstacles we are dealing but it is dangerous if we don't handle it with care, if we let ourselves controlled by our emotions. Emotions are reactions but it doesn't necessarily have to rule our decisions in dealing different people. We can handle them in a calmly manner by praying for strength, for wisdom to decide that we act in a Godly way, the right way. We always have a choice and i chose to keep my values. Forgiveness is the key. Other are blinded from God's love, cause they also have brokeness so they also need healing and prayers. It doesn't mean I am washing hands from sin because I also have sinned through my thoughts. But with God's grace I chose to do the right thing, to forgive, ask for healing and pray for people who mistreated me. 

"When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you. Those who are stealing must stop stealing and start working. They should earn an honest living for themselves. Then they will have something to share with those who are poor. When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God’s proof that you belong to him. God gave you the Spirit to show that God will make you free when the final day comes. Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ."(Ephesians 4:26-32 NCV)

        When I was hearing the holy mass earlier, as if God is talking to me through Father's Homily, I felt then the urge to have the confession, like the Holy Spirit guided me to talk to Father and ask a few minutes of his time. I fully confessed all my sins, I need to have this confession to let go of my past, to let go of those feeling of unworthiness. Father said "You are beautiful in the eyes of God, don't see your beauty as a curse but a blessing. Don't let other people mistreat you, use you. People will fail us but onLy God is perfect so we can just only rely to Him. He will never fail us. Make a conscious effort to do the right thing, because God already forgave you so you must also forgive yourself." 

        "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)"

      

        By God's grace we are able to do this, to fully submit myself to Him, to fully entrust my life, to surrender my totality as a human being. The very act of surrendering is to see God's love working in our lives; in our past, present and in our future.  

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)"

As I pray before I sleep. "Thank You Lord God for this wonderful time with You,  for the courage You gave me to be able to confess everything to You. Humbled by Your words, I was also able to forgive and forget. God I still need healing, continue to work in my life. I surrendered everything to you. Thy Your will be done, in Jesus name. Amen."

SINGLE... Blessedness :)

         A single person is someone who is not in a relationship or is "unmarried". The term single in its common usage is often referred to someone who isn't involved in any type of romantic relationship, whether it would be dating, engagement, or marriage. However, in some cases single people are not interested in marriage, domestic partnership, or other types of formal, committed relationships.People may remain single for a variety of reasons, including: financial and emotional or physical health issues, stress in the family, time constraints, education, career, personal preferences, advanced age, social fears or love-shyness and even living in a society or locality where there aren't enough people of the sex one is attracted to. (Wikipedia definition)

         Most of the single people (especially my age) can relate to this. We are all finding that special person in our lives, we all long to be happy, dreaming to be in a relationship, to cuddle, dreaming to have that perfect wedding *someday*.  But something between those things, there's a fear inside me that frightens me to have that someone, I tend to worry too much if someone is getting interested with me, I guess because I came from a broken relationship, not once but twice.  I am afraid to give the full trust again, to fall in love and later on get hurt, that's the most I worry about, the idea of getting hurt again. Sometimes I am thinking, do I really long for this? Do I really need to be in a relationship again? Am I really decided to give up my freedom, Am I really ready for that?! Those questions popped up in my mind when I had my conversation with my close friends this evening, whom one of them is also single. That makes me wonder. I know I am very certain about what I really like, of my goals in life, of what I have in my mind about the future, there's just uncertainty about one thing and I really don't know what it is......... 

          Being single is not really being alone, in fact it's a blessing. Believe me, it is. You have all the freedom you need, you don't need to have the approval of someone when you go out, when you go for an out of town trips with your friends, or simply going home late at night. You have all the time with your family, friends and most especially with yourself. You can do everything you want but at least you must know your limits too. This time of my life is the one I am savouring, cause I get to spend most of time with myself,  pampering, do things that will make me look and feel better, to discover things, to mingle with different people, to buy things for myself, not being dependent to someone, to spend most of my precious time with my family, friends, and with God; which I didn't have the chance to do before. I came to a point in my life now that I can truly say I have a deeper faith, I have a relationship with Him. That makes me happy, makes me feel complete, makes me secured about myself that eventhough I don't have special someone in my life, I don't worry, I don't feel I am alone. That's what I called grace. 

           I am not saying I don't need a relationship anymore, it's just that I became so particular about someone I really want, I am just being careful, to guard my heart. Maybe the time will come if I am also ready to enter a relationship, in God's perfect time, I am just praying for His plans for me. :) 

"Grace to all of you who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love that never ends." (Ephesians 6:24 NCV)

Happy Nurses Day :)

"A nurse is not what you do, it's what you are... I am a Nurse, it's not what I do. It's what I am."

"I am a Nurse" I am proud to say this. This is how I do to make a living, to support what I need, what I want; but deeper than that there's more to this line. This is what makes me human and to be humane, it molded me to a person as who I am today--- compassionate, caring, loving, helpful, courageous; and it makes me appreciate life at its fullest. I am a witness on how life begins, and how it ends. Sometimes it hurts me to take and hold hand of a dying person, to comfort them in times of pain, to encourage them that everything will be alright. We Nurses are talented professionals who dedicate ourselves to care for other people, from the constant attention to patient needs, to the sensitivity of human spirit. We are there for people who needs care and attention. We work on days when the whole world are celebrating, we are there for sick people who needs medications while we cannot do for our own selves when we needed it, we cannot eat nor drink because we have to feed those people who cannot do for themselves. And I believe we are the so called the "heart of the hospital" because we totally dedicate ourselves to our work. It is considered noble as one is willing and able to help the sick and the needy without asking for anything in return. But healing is just not physical, it involves the whole being of a person emotionally, mentally and especially spiritually. A holistic approach. 

These are the people that helps me to appreciate more of my work, to make me feel work as a playground. That I can work at the same time have a good play :) Seriously, most of them inspire and help me in the hard times of being an OFW. 

The Doctors who molded, inspire, taught me a lot of things about anesthesia, and one of the nicest doctors I worked with. They made me appreciate everything about anesthesia, from airway, medicines, being assistant to the master RABA rabbit, and a lot of things. :) Plus giving me reasons to smile haha! :) 

Definitely the people I treated as my family, I am badly missing them. And to my forever boss, I will always be thankful I became one of your daughters. Thanks for all the knowledge you shared. From the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU :)

UST- Del Pilar peeps, I miss those happy times. One of the great mentors I worked with, and most of my very good friends I still have. P.S I hope we will have a reunion :) 

UST-OR Pay peeps especially Maám JO , Thanks for making me an OR nurse. I had a great time working with u all. I miss you. I hope to visit you one of this days. :) 

My mentors when I was starting as a nurse, I will definitely cherish them. :) 

My playmates, cam-whoring friends! hahaha! :) 

Lastly, thanks to these colleagues and best of friends that I have.Endless gratitude for making my life easier, for being there for me on my hard times, for all the challenges. Things happen for a reason, sorry for my shortcomings, for all the pain I caused. I love you all you know that. 

HAPPY NURSES DAY TO ALL OF US! :) 

"To maintain the composure and courage despite the life threatening situations, and that's what makes us BEAUTIFUL inside and out"

Im not a girl, and YES I am a woman :)

           My childhood days describe me as who I am now. Cheerful, fun-loving and friendly. I used to be like the most frisky child among my siblings, like the boyish type, that's why my Mom and Dad called me "Tonton" As I grow older, I developed a character of my own, I had my own perceptions, views and opinions in life. I was just careless, a happy go lucky, playful.  A girl with full of hope, love, dreams. 

           In my teenage years, I became more conscious about myself and I admit I nursed my inferiority complex for a long period of time. I was the shy type kind of girl, the anti-social, I only have few friends on my list. I never see myself as an attractive girl; never in my entire teenage years. 

            Somewhere in between the passing decade, something has changed. 

            I experienced to love and be loved in return, those days were exciting and yet the heartbreaking. For the first time, I experienced the excruciating pain. Inevitable and unbelievable. One lesson I learned; People do come and go. Every people you meet in your life always has a purpose, to give us lessons, experience that we will treasure for the rest of our lives. They may give you the most memorable moment and the most heartbreaking but one thing's for sure, It will mold you to a better person, a stronger one. Believe me, you will later on appreciate the experience. 

             Yes, I am 28 years old, and I am proud to say that. I became matured with the life's lessons. I am now a woman full of compassion and love, who is ambitious, confident, independent, a strong willed person, considerate, a person who doesn't let my insecurities affect my personality, someone who already knows her self worth and value, I developed a self respect that I could be proud of. <credits to the people who guided, inspired and prayed for me>

           "A girl is attracted to boys. A woman is attracted to men. Now, this has nothing to do with the actual age of a person. I’m referring to maturity, life vision and stage of life. In fact, some people regardless of their age, will never really grow up."

         

         My perceptions in life also became different, when it comes to love, in choosing and finding the right guy. I don't know if you will call it choosy or I always see through the physical but I am looking for someone who still has that magic, someone who will make me feel the butterflies in my stomach, cheesy as it is but someone who will knocks me off my feet. I am a woman who wants a man who is responsible, family oriented, a man who plans for his future and working towards to achieve it, someone who is honest with his intentions, who knows how to respect a woman, a man of integrity who always mean what he says, most especially a man of God, a man full of faith, someone I can share my growing faith and love for Christ. I got tired of playing games, to seek attention to someone who is not willing to give their own time, their commitment. 

"A boy plays games. A man doesn’t.''

       

I am still praying for that right person, to guard my heart.

Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart for everything you do flows from it.

Deep within me I am someone who has old soul but still kid at heart :) 

mom and dad at SG :)

 I chose to forget everything, I just want to remember the good times with my parents. God allowed me to have time with them because He knows I will badly need their presence that time. And it really helped me a lot. Eversince I was a child, I always feel their love and support, they always care for us, doing all the things for us. I sometimes never understand their unconditional love for their children, but I salute them how they brought us up. I am always thankful I belong to them, I belong to a family full of love, compassion and care for each other. I am just a proud daughter :) 

Good times! :) A recent pic of us together in USS. I was glad they enjoyed the experience, though Mom was very scared of the Transformers ride. lol Payback time for all their sacrifices, hardworks for us. Indeed, a very memorable experience. A time for them to just relax and enjoy. :) 

 As I grow older, my perceptions in life are changing, Family became the most important in my life. If not for them, I will not be here being an OFW. I badly miss them! But thanks to their prayers, guidance and love that I became strong, a woman full of hope, a woman God wants me to be. :)                                                                 And I keep on telling this, Family will always be there for you, your closest friend might leave you, but your Family will always be your source of strength and support. 

The Art of Letting Go

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive the person who hurt you, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

              The past few week, days or even hours have been very stressful for me. Am I that bad person to be mistreated like this or is it the other way around?! I am trying hard to understand everything, to just give way to their anger and bitterness cause I know the past experiences in life brought her to that attitude, her outlook towards life. I was praying "Lord give me more patience and strength." But isn't it "We can't use our past as an excuse to stay in bondage to a negative, defeated and ungodly approach to life?" With all the things happening around me, I know God is giving me a purpose for this, He is molding me to become a stronger person, to be matured enough to handle difficult people, to be calm, focused  and a good Christian as we should have to be. As the book of Peter says,

Suffering for Doing Good

1Peter 3:8-17

       Finally all of you, be like-minded, be sympathetic, love one another, be compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit blessing. For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep their tongue from evil and their lips from deceitful speech. They must turn from evil and do good; they must seek peace and pursue it. For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and His ears are attentive to their prayer, but the face of the Lord is against those who do evil." Who is going to harm you if you are eager to do good? But even if you should suffer for what is right, you are blessed. "Do not fear their threats; do not be frightened." But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander. For it is better, if it is God's will, to suffer for doing good than for doing evil.

                             

"God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble"

1 Peter 5:6-11

         Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist Him, standing firm in the Faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings. And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you firm, strong and steadfast. TO Him be the power forever and ever. AMEN.

               God has a plan for us but the enemy has a plan for us too. So we should be well balanced, vigilant, and cautious at all times. God's plan for us is to be more than conquerors in Christ. We should not be enslaved to enemy's plan, to be imprisoned by our  negative emotions. I admit I am still hurting, I sometimes want to give up but God is always there, He is kind and always faithful. Thank You Lord God for your words I always  feel relieved and comforted. And with all those trials, my family especially my parents keep me going, they are my inspiration. They always inspire me to do good, to be a responsible person, to be a daughter of God. They always remind me that I am truly blessed, for I have a loving and supportive parents, a complete and happy family. I always learned lessons the hard way. As I always say,

      "People do come and go, even your closest friend, bestfriend can leave you but your family will just be there for you no matter what." 

---It is finding meaning and purpose in our day to day experiences, may it be good or bad; we should know that God yearns for us to take joy in our journey, to live life according to His purpose---