Happy and Blessed at 29!

     As I end this day, I wanna thank You Father God for my life, for the past 29 years of blissful beautiful crazy journey. Thank You for filling up this day with so much love, for channeling it through the people around me, my family, friends, colleagues and all the people that I encounter. Your love never fails. I couldn't ask for more. My heart filled with so much gratitude, I almost can't contain it. The pictures tell everything. Thank You for all the people who took time to type their message for my birthday and greeted me, for my colleagues who were with me for my birthday salubong, my friends/housemates/sisters who made an effort to surprise me for a breakfast birthday party, my close friends for the jollibee party, and most especially my family who are always been there for me, though we're miles apart, I can always feel your love for me. Thanks mommy and daddy for celebrating it at home even when I am not there with you. Lord, I only have one wish and You know my heart's desire. I will patiently wait for the one I truly deserve, because Your plans are always the best for us. Indeed a happy and blessed day for me :) 

trial and error..

      As I keep on moving forward, life has its way of bringing me down. Instances, people, emotions. Mixing it up together, I ended up failing the test. I thought I became numb to feel anything, to expect, to feel the disappointment. But I was wrong. 

     As I became stronger, enemies begun to strike me to my weakest points. I'm almost finishing the race but I stumble and fall, I've tried to get up but the wound excruciates deep down to my soul. Again, I am trying hard to heal the wound. 

    The most important thing is I know when, how and who to turn to. Lessons will always learned the hard way. 

"Come now, let's settle this," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool." (NLT) ( Isaiah 1:18 ) 

Everyone is walking around stained with sins. God has the power to settle it once and for all. No matter how hard we try to fix, ignore, or run away, He alone can wash away the red stains. What sins are you still holding onto? Ask God to cleanse you of your sins today.  Then enjoy His grace.

WHO AM I?

          How many times I tried to question my personality, my characteristics as a person. Last Sunday, all of my doubts have answered through our simple activity in our SFC household.  For those who want to know more about me, here is the result of my psychological test.

Sanguine personality is affected by chemical called dopamine, which makes these people intensely curious and creative. Their curiosity can be expressed in their love for reading and different kinds of knowledge and they usually possess high amounts of energy, so they may seem restless and spontaneous.

And YES most of these characteristics simply says, "Yeah it's me!" 

But far more than all of those questions in me, I realized, all of us are uniquely created by our Creator. I/we should not question all those characteristics, we should use all our gifts/talents to inspire other people, to bless those who need them. We are all different from each other, we should not compare nor entertain the insecurities we feel. But as humans, we will never be satisfied. I've been hurt many times because of these characteristics, but I'm still never giving up. I tried to change myself because I thought that would be better, that would ease the pain that I feel. And as my devotion today goes like this. 

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good! His faithful love endures forever. (NLT) ( Psalm 118:1 ) 

We all have gone through lost or broken relationships. Those experiences may sometimes make us feel that there's no hope for a long-lasting enduring love in this world. As hard as it may seem to imagine especially when we're so focused on our earthly relationships, just remember that God does love you unconditionally. Don't give up on hope in love and have faith in God. 

"Living life with an attitude of gratitude"

            I know I don't have the right to complain whatever the bad things going in my life right now, I know I am so blessed to have everything of what I have right now, I am too stubborn to ask for more, and I really felt guilty for that. When we are burdened or mistreated, we may feel defeated. And that's what I am feeling right now. I feel helpless, I feel so tired, I feel I am nothing. But our burdens can make us stronger and can develop qualities in us that will prepare us for the future. That's true. "We cannot be over comers without troubles to overcome. " And the only thing I am holding on to right now is this. "Be true to God in the hard times because even the worst situations can make us better people. Time has always a way of healing, of smoothing over the bumpy parts of our lives."  We just always need to hold on.

       Even though things get rough sometimes, I'm still thankful for these instances because at the end of it I will still realize how blessed I am to have everything that I need in my life. To be grateful rather than to whine/complain, to smile rather than frown, to be happy rather than sad.        

    Gradually we see things in different perspectives. Everything you've done, everyone you've loved, every mistake you've made, every obstacle you've overcome is part of the woman you are today.     

          

   And with a great sense of humility allows us to see our weakness and embrace Gods strength; it allows us to see our insufficiency and embrace His adequacy; it allows to see our emptiness and embrace His fullness; it allows to see our poverty and embrace His riches; it allows to see our sin and embrace His righteousness; it allows to see our lack and embrace His supply. Humility is the place of freedom where our spirit soars where love is perfected and where God's richest blessings abound. 

  

         ''And with all of these, ALL GLORY TO OUR GOD" 

Amazing Thailand

               "Reach deep within and reconnect with the essence of your being" 

                                                                              

I've always wanted to travel alone, but it always scares me how will I do it, not until this time I had enough courage to conquer my fears. Phuket, Thailand is one in my bucket list. I decided to go here because beach is one of the places I called "my sanctuary," I don't know why but it gives me this sense of happiness inside. It was indeed a very memorable trip for me. I was able to get what I always wanted. The feeling of independence and a feeling of satisfaction. This picture tells a thousand words, isn't it? 

                                                  The Sun, Sand and Sea. 

Soul searching as what most people call it but I think it's more of just finding the meaning of being alone but happy. I just needed that time alone, to align everything on my thinking, my decisions, and my goals in life. The essence of being happy even when I am alone. That trip gave me the appreciation of what I have in my life now. The blessings of having a good job, my family and my friends. 

                                                "Explore. Dream. Discover."       

             It is about taking steps to move away from my home comforts to discover what is waiting for me in the big, wide world. And, if I don’t take those steps, I'll forever regret it. And I am right, there are a lot of wonderful things to see in this world.

Now that I finally did it, my next plan--- Hongkong-Macau. Why not?! :)

Being a Better You

       

    People have different ways of coping up, of dealing with problems, difficulties in life, emotional disturbances and most especially in dealing with heartbreaks. Most of the single person's darkest fall is after a break up. Pain from a loss of special someone, of rejection; is inevitable. We always thought we cannot surpass these things, at that very moment we feel we are helpless, we are weak; that we don't want to go on with our lives anymore. We risked our hearts, we shared our lives, we already had plans for the future together with the special someone, "the wedding, having your own house, building your dreams together". Then all of a sudden, you never thought that person you love so much will give you the worst pain you will ever feel. Now, you're questioning yourself "What did I do wrong?" "Am I really not good enough for he/she to hold  on to?!"                                              

           Now, I know, most of you who are undergoing a major repair of the damage inside you are questioning about your self worth, questioning God why did it happen... I can tell all these things because I also experienced that stage of loss/pain not once but twice..  

                    

    Most of those people will turn to some other vices like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, partying everywhere because they think these things will make them happy, will make them numb, to ease the pain they are feeling, to forget everything what has happened in the past. Yes, it will give you a "temporary relief", a "temporary happiness" but at the end of the day you will still feel the emptiness in you, the loneliness and worst, it will make you feel more miserable.  

                                 

     I am writing this blog because I want to inspire people who are experiencing the same pain I went through; for them to realize that there's more to life than grieving/weeping/stressing yourselves about the past. Yes I don't feel what you are feeling right now, you may even tell me "You just don't know".. Believe me, there's more to life, more things to be thankful for. I underwent that stage, I also had vices like drinking and partying but those things just made realized I wasted most of the precious time, that I should have spend it more to the people who truly loves me, that I should spend it more to myself. 

Here are some tips that helped me get through it, I hope it will help you too:

1. BE BETTER, NOT BITTER

     You can always hear this famous line, but this is really true. You can spend more time discovering things you never did before, trying out a new sports, a hobby that will keep you busy. Pamper yourself. Most importantly, love yourself above anyone or anything else. 

2. DON'T TRY AGAIN TOO QUICKLY

      This is one of the most popular and common mistakes. Moving on to another relationship is wrong. Not until you are ready to love, don't try to date someone. More or less, you will end up just hurting innocent people, or you will hurt yourself too. 

3. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS

      Your family and friends who has been there for you through good and bad times, and they are the people who are already part of your life even before you had the relationship. Why not spending more time with the ones who truly care and love you. You will be happier and the feeling of satisfaction starts to sink in. 

4. TURN TO GOD AND PRAY!

      This is the best thing you can do, PRAY! Turn to Him, in times you feel weak, hurt and troubled. 

       The relationship may be over because of a certain failure or behavior that may disqualify you for a marriage with that person. But it doesn't mean God nullify you from His grace and love. When in fact it happened because that person is not the one God designed for you. They were part of your story because they have to be there to polish your character, to strengthen you. You may feel you are damaged, lost, ruined, but in God's eyes you are not. He wants you to turn to Him, seek and talk to Him. It is hard to believe but that broken you is a better you; stronger and braver. Every inch of the failure, heartaches are making you of what God has wanted you to be and to give you more of what He has created you to enjoy----Himself. 

      God does know our needs, He might reveal things you thought you needed or simply He is revealing that He is all that you need, not anyone or anything else. He always knows what's best for us and that person is not designed to be part of your marriage. For whatever reason, it is not the will of our Father to be with that person. Soon, you will understand why, the reasons behind every pain. Don't rush. The key point is to surrender everything in His Mighty Hands. 

5. LEARNED FROM THE PAST, FORGIVE/FORGET AND MOVE ON

      The hardest part yet the most fulfilling to do. Once you got over it, you will feel a way lot better. You will even thank God for that trial, for giving you those lessons, because if not for that you will not get to enjoy the things you never did before, you will not spend more time with the people you have almost taken for granted, the simple things you forgot to be thankful for. And in the next relationship you will have, you will be more cautious of your actions, you are seeking more of a relationship that is centered by God's love and grace, you will have that grateful heart, a humility that will seek more of your partner's welfare than your own, you will patiently waiting for that person God especially designed for you. 

--I hope I made you think, because with that thinking I know somehow I am touching your heart, making you puzzled how I made it through. It is really hard, but with God's grace and guidance, He did everything for me, He healed my brokenness, He made me feel I am worthy in His eyes, He showered me with abundance love that I don't anymore feel the emptiness. I hope I inspired you with this, that's all I want. 

        

       

Happy Birthday Sis :)

                             

,     You always make "tampo" when I always make blogs with some of my friends, but now is the perfect time I make one for you. 

      For the generous, kind hearted person I know, for the very gullible, bubbly and witty girl, the very OC, my elder sister, my nanay, my confidant, best room mate, my chocolates and chips eating partner, spoiler friend, and my 1st bestfriend here in Singapore. Thank You for all those wonderful times I had with you, for guiding and taking care of me, for being my ate. I never said this things with you before but I am too blessed to have you. Thank You for molding me into a more matured woman, for being there for me as always, for keeping my secrets, for sharing all the kilig moments, and those late night chikahan. I really miss that. :) 

     

                       

   

                                          pics from Jade's wedding last summer :) 

                        

                                                                    

                                        and our cam-whoring moments at the airport

                                                                                                                                                                   

   

 All the pictures say it all, one album is not enough to share all the good memories with you. Sorry for all those times I hurt you. I know whenever I need a sister, you will always be there for me. We may never see each other as often as before, I know our friendship will just be there. And you can count on me too. I love you more than you know. Again Happy Happy Birthday. I really miss you. :)

 "Having a sister is like having a bestfriend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they will still be there"