Happy Birthday Sis :)

                             

,     You always make "tampo" when I always make blogs with some of my friends, but now is the perfect time I make one for you. 

      For the generous, kind hearted person I know, for the very gullible, bubbly and witty girl, the very OC, my elder sister, my nanay, my confidant, best room mate, my chocolates and chips eating partner, spoiler friend, and my 1st bestfriend here in Singapore. Thank You for all those wonderful times I had with you, for guiding and taking care of me, for being my ate. I never said this things with you before but I am too blessed to have you. Thank You for molding me into a more matured woman, for being there for me as always, for keeping my secrets, for sharing all the kilig moments, and those late night chikahan. I really miss that. :) 

     

                       

   

                                          pics from Jade's wedding last summer :) 

                        

                                                                    

                                        and our cam-whoring moments at the airport

                                                                                                                                                                   

   

 All the pictures say it all, one album is not enough to share all the good memories with you. Sorry for all those times I hurt you. I know whenever I need a sister, you will always be there for me. We may never see each other as often as before, I know our friendship will just be there. And you can count on me too. I love you more than you know. Again Happy Happy Birthday. I really miss you. :)

 "Having a sister is like having a bestfriend you can't get rid of. You know whatever you do, they will still be there" 

Christian Character Weekend

                Being Christian is a difficult task, we have to be attuned to Christ's image and likeness; His character. We are called to be faithful servants, to fully submit ourselves to the Lord. Different experiences, emotions define our character, but it is always by God's grace we can do everything, we can fully submit ourselves to Him. 

       This is a right timing that we are having this kind of retreat, the past few days were struggle for me. To keep my values, not to stoop down to the level of being unjust, not to be harsh on my actions and in my words. I prayed hard for self control, for calmness, to always remember being a good Christian. Anger is a natural, it is a response to the obstacles we are dealing but it is dangerous if we don't handle it with care, if we let ourselves controlled by our emotions. Emotions are reactions but it doesn't necessarily have to rule our decisions in dealing different people. We can handle them in a calmly manner by praying for strength, for wisdom to decide that we act in a Godly way, the right way. We always have a choice and i chose to keep my values. Forgiveness is the key. Other are blinded from God's love, cause they also have brokeness so they also need healing and prayers. It doesn't mean I am washing hands from sin because I also have sinned through my thoughts. But with God's grace I chose to do the right thing, to forgive, ask for healing and pray for people who mistreated me. 

"When you are angry, do not sin, and be sure to stop being angry before the end of the day. Do not give the devil a way to defeat you. Those who are stealing must stop stealing and start working. They should earn an honest living for themselves. Then they will have something to share with those who are poor. When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you. And do not make the Holy Spirit sad. The Spirit is God’s proof that you belong to him. God gave you the Spirit to show that God will make you free when the final day comes. Do not be bitter or angry or mad. Never shout angrily or say things to hurt others. Never do anything evil. Be kind and loving to each other, and forgive each other just as God forgave you in Christ."(Ephesians 4:26-32 NCV)

        When I was hearing the holy mass earlier, as if God is talking to me through Father's Homily, I felt then the urge to have the confession, like the Holy Spirit guided me to talk to Father and ask a few minutes of his time. I fully confessed all my sins, I need to have this confession to let go of my past, to let go of those feeling of unworthiness. Father said "You are beautiful in the eyes of God, don't see your beauty as a curse but a blessing. Don't let other people mistreat you, use you. People will fail us but onLy God is perfect so we can just only rely to Him. He will never fail us. Make a conscious effort to do the right thing, because God already forgave you so you must also forgive yourself." 

        "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NIV)"

      

        By God's grace we are able to do this, to fully submit myself to Him, to fully entrust my life, to surrender my totality as a human being. The very act of surrendering is to see God's love working in our lives; in our past, present and in our future.  

"Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! (2 Corinthians 5:17 NIV)"

As I pray before I sleep. "Thank You Lord God for this wonderful time with You,  for the courage You gave me to be able to confess everything to You. Humbled by Your words, I was also able to forgive and forget. God I still need healing, continue to work in my life. I surrendered everything to you. Thy Your will be done, in Jesus name. Amen."

SINGLE... Blessedness :)

         A single person is someone who is not in a relationship or is "unmarried". The term single in its common usage is often referred to someone who isn't involved in any type of romantic relationship, whether it would be dating, engagement, or marriage. However, in some cases single people are not interested in marriage, domestic partnership, or other types of formal, committed relationships.People may remain single for a variety of reasons, including: financial and emotional or physical health issues, stress in the family, time constraints, education, career, personal preferences, advanced age, social fears or love-shyness and even living in a society or locality where there aren't enough people of the sex one is attracted to. (Wikipedia definition)

         Most of the single people (especially my age) can relate to this. We are all finding that special person in our lives, we all long to be happy, dreaming to be in a relationship, to cuddle, dreaming to have that perfect wedding *someday*.  But something between those things, there's a fear inside me that frightens me to have that someone, I tend to worry too much if someone is getting interested with me, I guess because I came from a broken relationship, not once but twice.  I am afraid to give the full trust again, to fall in love and later on get hurt, that's the most I worry about, the idea of getting hurt again. Sometimes I am thinking, do I really long for this? Do I really need to be in a relationship again? Am I really decided to give up my freedom, Am I really ready for that?! Those questions popped up in my mind when I had my conversation with my close friends this evening, whom one of them is also single. That makes me wonder. I know I am very certain about what I really like, of my goals in life, of what I have in my mind about the future, there's just uncertainty about one thing and I really don't know what it is......... 

          Being single is not really being alone, in fact it's a blessing. Believe me, it is. You have all the freedom you need, you don't need to have the approval of someone when you go out, when you go for an out of town trips with your friends, or simply going home late at night. You have all the time with your family, friends and most especially with yourself. You can do everything you want but at least you must know your limits too. This time of my life is the one I am savouring, cause I get to spend most of time with myself,  pampering, do things that will make me look and feel better, to discover things, to mingle with different people, to buy things for myself, not being dependent to someone, to spend most of my precious time with my family, friends, and with God; which I didn't have the chance to do before. I came to a point in my life now that I can truly say I have a deeper faith, I have a relationship with Him. That makes me happy, makes me feel complete, makes me secured about myself that eventhough I don't have special someone in my life, I don't worry, I don't feel I am alone. That's what I called grace. 

           I am not saying I don't need a relationship anymore, it's just that I became so particular about someone I really want, I am just being careful, to guard my heart. Maybe the time will come if I am also ready to enter a relationship, in God's perfect time, I am just praying for His plans for me. :) 

"Grace to all of you who love our Lord Jesus Christ with love that never ends." (Ephesians 6:24 NCV)