Sense of security

Cliche as it may seem or call it too religiously but truly, "The best relationship one could ever have is with Him 👆🏻" 

I don't know how it happened but I know is through fervently praying, your best effort to search for your contentment, and it is really by His grace you can do unimaginable things, our human sinfully nature will be forgotten because You will always search for the truth and by His words your mind and heart will be enlightened. The past will not define you. In His eyes, you are one of His wonderful creations. 

This is the moment I fully accepted my flaws, my imperfection. Because through all of these I was beautifully and wonderfully made. And my identity is not defined by someone or something. 

The fullness of joy in my heart, the contentment, and oh yes that smile on my eyes is because of my greatest lover, Jesus.😍 Lastly, I know the best is yet to come. I will patiently wait for it. ☺️

Dear Lord, Please continue holding my heart. Always align my heart with Yours. May I always see the goodness in any circumstances, the joy in every pain, and the purpose in every trial. Make me your warrior princess, and make my life a blessing to the people around me. Amen😇

deep within her

      Most of the people close to my heart would probably understand what I am going to share about this long overdue entry. 

      Far from what you see in my social media photos, the way I dress, the compliments I received from the people around me; you'll never a trace girl that once nurtured an inferiority complex in her persona. YES! You read it right! 

      During my teenage years, I never see myself as someone likeable/desirable. I was bullied back then. There were times I could only express my  feelings through my diary, there were sobbing sleepless nights. Passing it on until my college days; I can't remember having so many friends or a single moment mingling with the "Manilenos/conyos" classmates (as what they always call them). I was so shy then, I can't even go to crowded places like Ubelt particularly. I don't know why but I can only remember was the very typical probinsyana/jologs/ugly duckling Kristine. I was really never secure of who I am as a person. That was really a sad part of my life, I didn't get to enjoy much of my teenage years. And an additional rejection/heartaches to my early twenties.

     Looking back then, I now understand what I have gone through was just normal. My coping up was the abnormal. I think even the pretty girls and the handsome guys or even the most popular people have their fair share stories of rejection, loneliness and INSECURITY. It's part of growing up and being human. And eventhough it's painful at times, dealing with it will help us become more empathic, understanding and kinder to others. 

      I can't say I no longer feel this kind of emotions, but my coping up is now better. I think we are natural insecure people, we will never be satisfied. It's all about SELF ACCEPTANCE or what we call the SELF LOVE. I think it's not bad to love ourselves the most. Who else will do that for us, right?! 

An excerpt from a blog that I read:

"When you seem to struggle with certain feelings of insecurities, lift it up in prayer. Don't stop! I promise you, He answers prayers." 

And that's what I am exactly doing everytime I am attacked by the enemy.       

Plus thanks to the people around me who made me feel admirable, likeable, and lovable. And to our loving God who will always see us as His beautiful creation. All glory to Him! 

 

Transcending Blog

This is what my blog compasses..

Faith. Hope. Love

Love is why he came. It's all love. The buzzing flies around the cross, the stroke of the Roman hammer as the nails tear into his screamingly soft flesh, the infinitely harder stroke of his own people's hammering hatred, hammering at his heart—why? For love. God is love, as the sun is fire and light, and he can no more stop loving than the sun can stop shining. 

He may not yet wipe tears away, but he makes them his.

Henceforth, when we feel the hammers of life beating on our heads or on our hearts, we can know—we must know—that he is here with us, taking our blows. Every tear we shed becomes his tear. He may not yet wipe them away, but he makes them his. Would we rather have our own dry eyes, or his tear-filled ones? He came. He is here. That is the salient fact. If he does not heal all our broken bones and loves and lives now, he comes into them and is broken, like bread, and we are nourished. And he shows us that we can henceforth use our very brokenness as nourishment for those we love. Since we are his body, we too are the bread that is broken for others. Our very failures help heal other lives; our very tears help wipe away tears; our being hated helps those we love. When those we love hang up on us, he keeps the lines open. His withness with us enables us to be with those who refuse to be with us.

What then is suffering to the Christian? It is Christ's invitation to us to follow him. Christ goes to the cross, and we are invited to follow to the same cross. Not because it is the cross, but because it is his. Suffering is blessed not because it is suffering but because it is his. Suffering is not the context that explains the cross; the cross is the context that explains suffering. The cross gives this new meaning to suffering; it is now not only between God and me but also between Father and Son. The first between is taken up into the Trinitarian exchanges of the second. Christ allows us to participate in his cross because that is his means of allowing us to participate in the exchanges of the Trinity, to share in the very inner life of God.

Love is war.

Love is something that you need to keep fighting for.

God is love that is why He always keep fighting for us to be with Him. 🙏

“We love because he first loved us.”

1 John 4:19 NIV

3.0version

And again, I got an itchy feeling to write...

The realization, the experiences I gained. 

Few months ago, I became hopeful of something exciting. I thought this would be the fulfillment of a dream, but then God said, "My daughter, it is still not the right time."  I made some arrangements, the efforts I had just to reach out. I must admit, it was frustrating and disappointing. 

But things turned out to be God's plan for me to go home and spend few days with the people that really matters most. My role as a Nurse now became a vital role in the family, to take care of Mom for a few days. I came home with a heavy heart, worries, fears starting to fill my mind. I just prayed... 

Truly,  family is your everything. Time spent with them is worth every second. And I am just thankful I am 3.5 hrs away from home. That I could easily book a ticket and be with them. The 5 days I spent, it was very meaningful. GOD is faithful, sovereign, mighty. HE answered prayers for your best interest, for the growth of your faith and maturity.  

I get to bond with them, the moment you feel you are the only single person in the family, that most of your siblings already have their own, just got married, and almost getting there. That you are becoming the responsible TITA to your nephew, taking care of him the whole day and even sleeping beside him just like his own mother, taking care of your sick parents, deciding minor things for the family. I sometimes miss the bonding with my siblings before, but the situation is already different and I totally understand it. I am truly happy with their status right now and also with what I have. I know God is giving me a special role, a task that I am accepting wholeheartedly that I know I will not regret, a daughter who takes care of her aging parents, a sweet sister to her siblings, a spoiler Tita. 

I know most of you will be worried and most of my relatives are already asking the question. 

"When are you going to settle down?!" 

That question I could not answer anymore, it turned out I am no longer interested in meeting new people, in dating. It's not that I became cynical about relationships, about love. I just surrendered everything, I leave everything up to HIM, of what His plans for me. I just became excited of what's in store for me in the future. 

I just enjoy what I do right now. A true happiness just being yourself. Keeping your promises to Him and yourself, always reminded of your worth. I know God is with me, why should I worry?! 

Sharing the captured moments. I will see you soon my loves! :) 

3-0!

It feels weird, scary, yet exciting/exhilarating! I had preparations before I came to this point in my life where I could say I am matured enough to handle things in life. Then came the 4th of February. Waking up at 3am in the morning at home in my room, it giggles me that again I will celebrate my special day with family. I went downstairs to lie beside my parents bed, the inner "bunso" in me, I cuddle and kiss to wake them up. And then the younger brother also joined us in, showering me with greetings and kisses on my cheek. I uttered in my mind, Lord Thank You for this day. I couldnt find a better way to start my day but spending time at Church to give thanks. After the mass with my cousin, I went home feeling so light and bright. Kissing and playing with kambal and Liam. The feeling was unexplainable. I felt I was on a cloud nine, I felt so "kilig" people are starting to greet me in facebook, private messages, text messages, and instagram. Then afternoon came, the big event I was waiting for.. The most pure joy that I felt. :) 

The experience was overwhelming, humbling, and one of a kind. It brought me happy tears. I couldn't help it but cry. The endless thank you, the smile on their faces. Priceless! :) I felt so blessed! 

At home, I just said to my family "Thank You" with tears of joy.. :) 

The never ending surprises didn't stop there. My love month brought a lot of happenings, new and exciting people came, memories to treasure, quality time with closest friends, celebration of love/God's faithfulness, family bonding... that made my heart so joyful and hopeful ❤️ I know it's another adventure, more experiences, learnings, fun, and stories. Bring it on! I know God will always guide me🙏 

Dear Tineton, congratulations! :) ---Love Kristine❤️

I finally finished reading the book of Cathy Gonzaga and it's very inspiring. I wanna change the name in that page, cause that's exactly how/where I am right now. (hindi pa nga lang 10months, im on my 8months now.) And I never felt this joy and peace in my heart. Yes I am in my Loveless status right now. Don't get me wrong of this. My singleness is by choice not by chance. If you would dare ask me the question Why?! My answer would be like this. 

"Cause this is the time of my life I am happy. Because I came to realize I already have everything that I need right now. I don't need someone/something just to make me happy." 

There's so much to be thankful for. I am single by choice because I am already listening to God's voice, God is working in me. I know He is preparing me for someone/something the best He prepared for me. Believe me, the best relationship one could ever have is with God. He could be your boyfriend, bestfriend, and your Father. He knows what is the best for you. Call it religious or whatever but being a Christian is not about branding ourselves but it is the way of life. And I already established the relationship with Him and I am overly joyed and contented. I am single for now because I have more space, time and chances to know more about myself, to seek who God wants me to be and to be with. And that's why I am just patient. 

And in the process of waiting, enjoy and live each moment with joy in our hearts. God is never too late, never early. He is always on time. 🙏❤️

So Tineton I am proud of how you become, how you use your past hurts to where you are right now. I know God will say to you, Good job my princess 👑👸! 

Not A Bad Thing

I never imagined this simple song would make a big impact on me. There was instance in my life where I questioned God,  and I even questioned myself "Am I not worthy?". There are those guys who made me feel so insecure about myself as a woman, as a person. I uttered the words "Am I not that good enough for them to commit themselves to have a relationship with me?" But those things, the experiences I had, the hurts... God use it for me to realize that I am worthy, He use it for His Greater Glory, and He is more than enough for me. My heart is full of joy that finally I am where I am right now because God brought me here, and the state of my heart as a single woman; I am truly satisfied. 


The questions I had before, He answered it through this song. I even tell God,  "If someone will sing this song for me I know he will be the right guy for me. " But then He whispered "This song is the song I have for you, why are u still looking for someone to sing it for you?! God is really amazing! I just smiled and told myself "Yes Jesus Christ You are the Perfect One for me" and my heart filled with satisfaction..

 Here is the lyrics for you all to understand what I am saying... 
                                                       
                                                           "Not A Bad Thing"

[Verse 1:]
Said all I want from you is to see you tomorrow
And every tomorrow, maybe you'll let me borrow your heart
And is it too much to ask for every Sunday
And while we're at it, throw in every other day to start

[Pre-Chorus:]
I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
But I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it

[Chorus:]
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me

[Verse 2:]
Now how about I'd be the last voice you hear tonight?
And every other night for the rest of the nights that there are
Every morning I just wanna see you staring back at me
'Cause I know that's a good place to start

[Pre-Chorus:]
I know people make promises all the time
Then they turn right around and break them
When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding
Don't you know that I could be that guy to heal it over time
And I won't stop until you believe it
'Cause baby you're worth it

[Chorus:]
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me
(Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me)

[Bridge:]
No I won't fill your mind
With broken promises and wasted time
And if you fall, you'll always land right in these arms
These arms of mine

[Chorus:]
Don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me
'Cause you might look around and find your dreams come true, with me
Spent all your time and your money just to find out that my love was free
So don't act like it's a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
It's not a bad thing to fall in love with me, me
Not such a bad thing to fall in love with me