People have different ways of coping up, of dealing with problems, difficulties in life, emotional disturbances and most especially in dealing with heartbreaks. Most of the single person's darkest fall is after a break up. Pain from a loss of special someone, of rejection; is inevitable. We always thought we cannot surpass these things, at that very moment we feel we are helpless, we are weak; that we don't want to go on with our lives anymore. We risked our hearts, we shared our lives, we already had plans for the future together with the special someone, "the wedding, having your own house, building your dreams together". Then all of a sudden, you never thought that person you love so much will give you the worst pain you will ever feel. Now, you're questioning yourself "What did I do wrong?" "Am I really not good enough for he/she to hold on to?!"
Now, I know, most of you who are undergoing a major repair of the damage inside you are questioning about your self worth, questioning God why did it happen... I can tell all these things because I also experienced that stage of loss/pain not once but twice..
Most of those people will turn to some other vices like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, partying everywhere because they think these things will make them happy, will make them numb, to ease the pain they are feeling, to forget everything what has happened in the past. Yes, it will give you a "temporary relief", a "temporary happiness" but at the end of the day you will still feel the emptiness in you, the loneliness and worst, it will make you feel more miserable.
I am writing this blog because I want to inspire people who are experiencing the same pain I went through; for them to realize that there's more to life than grieving/weeping/stressing yourselves about the past. Yes I don't feel what you are feeling right now, you may even tell me "You just don't know".. Believe me, there's more to life, more things to be thankful for. I underwent that stage, I also had vices like drinking and partying but those things just made realized I wasted most of the precious time, that I should have spend it more to the people who truly loves me, that I should spend it more to myself.
Here are some tips that helped me get through it, I hope it will help you too:
1. BE BETTER, NOT BITTER
You can always hear this famous line, but this is really true. You can spend more time discovering things you never did before, trying out a new sports, a hobby that will keep you busy. Pamper yourself. Most importantly, love yourself above anyone or anything else.
2. DON'T TRY AGAIN TOO QUICKLY
This is one of the most popular and common mistakes. Moving on to another relationship is wrong. Not until you are ready to love, don't try to date someone. More or less, you will end up just hurting innocent people, or you will hurt yourself too.
3. SPEND MORE TIME WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Your family and friends who has been there for you through good and bad times, and they are the people who are already part of your life even before you had the relationship. Why not spending more time with the ones who truly care and love you. You will be happier and the feeling of satisfaction starts to sink in.
4. TURN TO GOD AND PRAY!
This is the best thing you can do, PRAY! Turn to Him, in times you feel weak, hurt and troubled.
The relationship may be over because of a certain failure or behavior that may disqualify you for a marriage with that person. But it doesn't mean God nullify you from His grace and love. When in fact it happened because that person is not the one God designed for you. They were part of your story because they have to be there to polish your character, to strengthen you. You may feel you are damaged, lost, ruined, but in God's eyes you are not. He wants you to turn to Him, seek and talk to Him. It is hard to believe but that broken you is a better you; stronger and braver. Every inch of the failure, heartaches are making you of what God has wanted you to be and to give you more of what He has created you to enjoy----Himself.
God does know our needs, He might reveal things you thought you needed or simply He is revealing that He is all that you need, not anyone or anything else. He always knows what's best for us and that person is not designed to be part of your marriage. For whatever reason, it is not the will of our Father to be with that person. Soon, you will understand why, the reasons behind every pain. Don't rush. The key point is to surrender everything in His Mighty Hands.
5. LEARNED FROM THE PAST, FORGIVE/FORGET AND MOVE ON
The hardest part yet the most fulfilling to do. Once you got over it, you will feel a way lot better. You will even thank God for that trial, for giving you those lessons, because if not for that you will not get to enjoy the things you never did before, you will not spend more time with the people you have almost taken for granted, the simple things you forgot to be thankful for. And in the next relationship you will have, you will be more cautious of your actions, you are seeking more of a relationship that is centered by God's love and grace, you will have that grateful heart, a humility that will seek more of your partner's welfare than your own, you will patiently waiting for that person God especially designed for you.
--I hope I made you think, because with that thinking I know somehow I am touching your heart, making you puzzled how I made it through. It is really hard, but with God's grace and guidance, He did everything for me, He healed my brokenness, He made me feel I am worthy in His eyes, He showered me with abundance love that I don't anymore feel the emptiness. I hope I inspired you with this, that's all I want.
